when you mistake an 8 year old for Ariana Grande
interrupting conversations to point at dogs in public
I have one really photogenic cat and one idiot
When nude sheer material actually matches your skin, righteously beautiful things happen 😍😍
oranges are really good but im just too lazy to peel them so i don’t eat them
i have limited sympathy for people who get told “no” after a public proposal because public proposals are pretty much emotionally abusive
if you think it’s kinda cute, you can discuss it beforehand and then do a staged one later
but putting someone on the spot in front of a crowd of strangers (or worse, friends) and demanding they give you a yes or no answer to a complex question which will affect the rest of their life is
really not okay
An accurate representation of tumblr right now
no but could you imagine one of the quidditch team members saying “knock on wood” and they all just hit oliver before a big match
I’m almost a thousand percent sure the Weasley twins did that at some point
Octopuses are going to kill us all someday
I had a biology teacher that told us this story about an octopus at an aquarium in Australia. The staff were concerned because their population of crustaceans kept disappearing. No bodies or anything. So they checked the video feed to find out what’s up.
Across from the the crustacean tank was a small octopus tank. This little fucker squeezed out of a tiny hole at the top of his tank, walk across the hall, and get into the crustacean tank. He would then hunt and eat. After he was done, he crawled back out and get back in his tank
Here’s the kicker: security guards patrolled the area. The staff realized that the octopus had memorized the security’s routine. It would escape and be back between the guards’ round.
An octopus in Germany was annoyed by a bright light shining into his tank, so he climbed up over the rim and squirted water at it to short it.
Fuckin’ octopuses, man.
i may seem like an angry person on the surface but deep inside im actually angrier
all i want in life is to look hot when i laugh